How to Date a KTV Hostess

Many customers have been to the KTV to have a fun night out, and I’m sure you’d like to know what it’s like to date a KTV hostess. In this article I will share my own experiences, and hope you read them without bias. This is not an article to teach you how to get a girlfriend from the KTV, but thoughts from a normal guy with an ex-girlfriend for 2 years.

Is it a good idea to fall in love with a KTV hostess? Firstly, we need to understand why they are here. Why are young girls leaving their family and friends to a foreign country to work, get drunk, let themselves be touched by random people everyday?

It was only less than 50 years ago that the war ended in Vietnam and for Vietnamese to have progressed within such a short time to the economy they are now is impressive. But it’s a huge country and they only have a GDP/capita of $4600USD in 2023. It’s increasing every year and that means people are getting better education and higher paid jobs. But there are lots of people who still lead a very modest life.

Hostesses who come to Singapore all have a dream, and that is to earn money, enough for their family, enough for themselves to live more comfortably. Some might be unable to afford high medical fees for a sick parent, or are the sole breadwinners in the family with many depending on their income. This line of work, even though frowned upon, is insanely rewarding. Coming here to work is the best way to turn it around in the shortest time.

They just want your money and will never love you

There’s some truth to this. How many times have we seen old men being cheated of their life savings by a beautiful lady they met at the bar or club? But not everyone is bad. Some girls were heartbroken, and that’s why they chose to work. Cheating is so common in Vietnam and it’s not surprising to hear these stories. I can say with confidence, that when they meet men in Singapore or Malaysia, they feel a sense of safety they might not get in Vietnam. Girls tell me Singaporean men are more loyal, and know how to dote on their girlfriends. This is why it is possible to have a hostess as your girlfriend.

Loving a KTV hostess is not without challenge

Sure, if you are filthy rich and have lots of money, love is on easy-mode. To outsiders, they see it as a transaction, but if there are two willing parties, who cares what happens? “True love doesn’t need money” yeah sure, if you’re an idealist. It’s common for girlfriends to ask for gifts during special days, and sometimes money for them to spend. They see it as a measure of your love for them. I agree, it is a very antiquated state-of-mind, but this is unavoidable if you want to date a hostess. You don’t have to be very rich, but you will be expected to give gifts during birthdays, valentines, women’s day and such. What do rich guys do? They give the girls $10000 a month and ask them to stop working, and then marry them. Obviously, I do not fall into this category.

“How did you fall in love?” You need to make sure she knows you like her enough, and are not someone just looking for a short-term partner. I went to look for my girlfriend every week at the KTV, and only her. I asked her about her life, what she liked to do, her family, her history, and shared mine in return. Honesty is important here, and even though I found out she lied about her age (because she was old), she was truthful in everything else. You can’t expect to know someone if you simply go to “play” at the KTV. She would sit beside me and we would talk. This slowly evolved to paid dates. We texted everyday, and sometimes she would cook for me. Eventually, she agreed to be my girlfriend. I learnt some Vietnamese to have basic conversations with her, and I can’t stress how important this is because that’s her seeing you put in effort to learn her culture. I tried all sorts of vietnamese food, and even if I hated eating Mam Tom (fermented shrimp paste) and bittergourd, I would never say no if she wanted me to eat it together with her. I started listening to vietnamese songs, and went to Vietnam to visit her regularly when she went back. That’s where the relationship really started.

As her boyfriend, you need to be firm and gentle at the same time. Firm to make sure she knows her place and cannot bully you into doing something, and gentle when it comes to listening to her when she has had a bad day. That is strength and she will respect you more when you don’t give in easily.

Sacrifice

There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to having a hostess girlfriend. 1. Wow, you’ve made it and managed to bag a super hot girl that no one else could. 2. You’re not a real man. A real man would not let his girlfriend be touched by other men. Well, I knew what I was going into, and there has to be trust between you and her. She doesn’t go to hotels, she has her boundaries, and I was satisfied with those boundaries.

Your friends will tell you you’re stupid, or discourage you out of envy. You won’t get much time with your girlfriend because she’s working everyday till 3AM. It’s probably once or twice a week when we get to meet. Vietnamese girls while gentle, can also be obnoxiously stubborn. You’ll need to find a way to iron out the differences you have in values, spending habits, and how you see the world. It’s a long process, not without fights or quarrels. I just think it’s part of the journey, as is with any kind of relationship you get. You will not get used to eating sour mangoes with spicy salt everyday.

What you have with your girlfriend is between you two, and don’t let anybody else say otherwise, unless you’re so deep in the hole you can’t even see your fingers. If you can’t think logically, then maybe it’s not wise to date a hostess.

After a storm comes a calm

Despite these issues, you’ll find that Vietnamese ladies are exceptionally good at taking care of their husbands/boyfriends. When I was tired and slept till 1pm, she woke up early to go to the market to prepare an octopus hotpot for me, with handmade fish balls. Their cooking skills are unparalleled, and will fiercely devote themselves to you once they’ve made up their mind. Just know that you might be expected to reciprocate in the same way, and make her feel safe all the time.

Closing thoughts

Whether a hostess is out for your money, or is someone who really loves you, we will leave it to you to discern. More often than not, they will want someone who is financially capable, and is able to afford them a certain lifestyle. In other cases, they don’t want for too much, and are content to have a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t cheat on them. Treat them like normal people, not a trophy wife, and you will find your life much easier.

KTV hostesses might be among the most devious people you will meet - and I don't mean this in a bad way. That’s hardly surprising given the number of customers they meet everyday, and I can’t understate how intelligent they can be in learning languages and figuring people out.

To date a KTV hostess, you must be more intelligent than they are, and once they see that, they know that they’ve met their equal, and then maybe, you can finally date one.